Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Plastic Bag Disease

On Friday evening we went to Stop 'n' Shop to get food for the big breakfast we had to cook on Saturday morning.

Because we weren't paying attention like we usually do, we came home with three plastic bags.

The contents of the bags were as follows:
  • Bag #1: Eggs
  • Bag #2: Bacon, Sausage, and Ibuprofen
  • Bag #3: Bananas and Cherries

Whenever I don't stop the plastic-wasting morons nice people bagging groceries in time to ask for one bag, I always make a point of passive-aggressively putting all the extra bags into one bag so they can see just how dumb it really is to separate everything. (And if they have to separate things, why the heck did they let the medicine touch my meat? A testament to the high levels of antibiotics and hormones already in the meat anyway, perhaps?)

We tried to figure it out all the way home (good thing we live less than a mile away). And we came up with this: The company policy must state that groceries will be bagged alphabetically. Only food with names whose first letters are touching may also touch in a bag. Clearly some loose translations are allowed (meat and medicine, for example), but that's why the eggs couldn't be with the cherries and bananas. (Crap! If only he'd though of eggs and fruit -- E-F!)

We already decided a long time ago that January is the very last month ever that we're allowed to use plastic bags. Of course, I haven't made us any alternative bags yet, but I will.

I did start a crocheted plastic bag (made of recycled plastic bags) a long time ago, but it's not the most stylish thing and it's boring-as-heck to make. It's also not very comfortable or roomy, so it lacks in function what a regular old yarn-y tote abounds in. And I'd rather not re-use plastic too many times (cancer!), especially on my food. I can see it now: "I'm sorry, Kimberly, but in my professional opinion, that is the strangest stripe of skin cancer I've ever seen! It's right across the palm of your hands and your fingers, as if you'd been rubbing plastic across it the same direction day after day. And your stomach! It's lined with the strangest chemicals!"


1 comment:

Danielle A. said...

I already gave you my "Grocery stores don't properly train people how to bag anymore" rant, so I won't bore you with it again. ;)