Wednesday, July 04, 2007

A little off.

Steve and Danielle made us dinner last night. We brought Mario Party 8 and played Wii for a few hours. Steve is good at cleaning paint off the mean guy.
I also brought Brownii-motes.
For lunch today I had Athanas Leftovers. It's much tastier than it looks after it has been reheated and stirred around. Actually, it was freakin' delicious.
I don't even care that I ate the whole container because I'm feeling way off today. A person from church died, and I'm having a wierd/hard time with that.

I sort of feel like I don't deserve to be upset because I wouldn't have been so bothered if I hadn't spent all Sunday afternoon playing in his garden, if he hadn't let me dig up bushes and replant them where I wanted, if we hadn't talked about Maine and how he's never been to Bar Harbor, if I hadn't told him what to do with the lily bulbs I plucked off the roots of other lilies, if he hadn't taken them and said he would tell his wife and she can take care of them, if he hadn't served us Diet Dr. Pepper and ice water on an old wooden serving tray.

Before all that, he was the old guy at church who was always smiling and who teased Dan for his facial hair and made clever mathematical jokes about our last name.

And I wonder... what if we had insisted he not shovel mulch and push the full wheelbarrow around?

I don't like being so sad, but I wouldn't trade that day for anything. It was sunny and breezy, and the garden looks darn good now. And I think I would feel even worse if I hadn't spent that time with him, if I had missed the opportunity to make him smile a little more.

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